I've realized lately that I do a lot of things on a whim...I guess I've always thought of it as being spontaneous and most of the time I actually enjoy my spontaneity. Well a couple of weeks ago that spontaneity signed me up for something I didn't really think through.
Not so long ago, I used to love working out. I loved the feeling it gave me, the energy I had when I was done and knowing that I was getting into shape and pushing myself harder than I thought was possible. Since my alarm clock now goes off at 2:45 a.m. I find that I'm tired
ALL.THE.TIME and I just don't have the get-up-and-go that I used to. I've also found that I'm gaining some unwanted pounds in areas I've never had to worry about before.
Because of this I am desperately trying to get back into shape and convince myself that I like working out again. I've been taking Zumba classes a couple of times a week, but decided I needed more. So on the way out of Zumba class a couple of weeks ago I passed by the personal trainer's desk and decided to stop and ask about the service. I knew I still had 3 "free" sessions I never used, so it was about time I cashed those in. I was just hoping to learn new exercises that would help me tone and flatten the areas where I need, er, want to see some improvement.
For my first training session I showed up ready to work out and excited to learn new exercises. I meet my trainer who is this 20-something guy who looks like he just stepped out of his cap and gown and strolled into the gym. He tells me he works out 4 times a day and eats 8000 calories a day during the winter. Okay, so my first thought was this guy has NO LIFE and my second thought was okay, maybe he can teach me some new modern exercises. Well it turned out to be a complete bust. I ended up sitting at a computer going over nutrition for an hour with Sir Beefcake. Now I'll be the first to admit, I am not good in the nutrition department. Yeah, sure, I can read labels like everyone else, but when it comes to crunching numbers, calorie counting, etc. I'm no good at it. My ADD always gets in the way somewhere between the riboflavin and the sulfur dioxide on the ingredient label. So then I figured maybe he can at least give me some idea of foods I can eat to work towards becoming healthier. Umm, no. He basically told me that everything I am eating is bad and that I should stop. Stop eating bread, not even wheat. Stop eating the premixed oatmeal packets, only the untouched oats. Drink 3 protein shakes a day, only eat fruit on days you don't work out and make sure you eat almonds...um, slow down Sir Beefcake?! I'll get right on that and we'll see how much of that I can fit in between now and the next session.
Yesterday I had my second session. Now keep in mind, I'm not trying to bulk up (hence the reason I refuse to drink the 3 protein shakes a day he told me to drink last week), I'm just trying to tone up. So I get there and he tells me to hop on the treadmill and "warm up"...okay, whatever. Then we go upstairs where he makes me do squats...no sweat. Then he puts the weight bar on my back and tells me to do more squats...again, no problem. Then he puts weights on the bar and tells me to do squats. Now this is right up my alley...I'm learning new things! FINALLY. After the squats we go over to the free weights and do lunges, but these aren't just any lunges, no, these are the lunges with 20 LB weights. Has he lost his mind? I've never done lunges with anything more than 10 lb weights. AND isn't the method to toning, less weight, more reps?!? But, I'll go along with it because, after all, Sir Beefcake is the "trainer". After 2 sets of lunges on each leg, it's over to the lower body dead lifts. I know I'm supposed to be working my hamstrings during this exercise, but again the weight is so heavy I can hardly lift the bar once I drop it past my knees. I complained a little bit and he said this is what he was here for...I can see I'm not getting anywhere so it might be best if I just keep my mouth shut for here on out. After the dead lifts it was over to the weight bench for dumbbell bent over rows. Now this one was just ridiculous. I've done this exercise more times than I can count and I've never used weights more than 5-10lbs. Not because I can't, just because I'm not trying to bulk up. (Remember the less weight, more reps theory?) So Sir Beefcake has me use 20 lb weights (again!). He can't be serious, oh, but, he was! After 2 sets on each arm of those, we're off to do abs. This one I won't even talk about because he knocked me off the ball trying to prove to me that my abs needed work. Well, no #$% Sherlock. Why else would I be here?
After 30 minutes of exercises he sat me down at the computer (the same one we spent an hour on last week) and went over my BMI, my fat tissue and lean tissue measurements and he was even nice enough to show me a digital image of what my body looks like with my current measurements. Then he showed me what my body will look like when I lose 12 lbs. (Oh.my.God. Does Beefcake really want me to lose 12 lbs? Little does he know I haven't weighed that since I was in middle school.) And then he tells me it's going to cost $350/mo. for him to show me these results. HA! Okay...
Can I tell you that I'm over-the-moon thrilled about what my third and final session might have in store for me next week? As far as my workout from yesterday, I'm pretty sure it's going to be at least next week before I am able to walk without a limp. Thanks for that, Beefcake.